I'm Grounded.

Wednesday, in the a.m., I ran up my stairs and started switching the laundry from washer to dryer. I stood in front of the washer and was turning towards the dryer. Ow! what the heck? My knee felt like it needed to be popped and twisted back into place. Oh. My. (@. (curse word) I tried so hard not to cry. I worked out my knee so I could at least walk on it. Later in the afternoon, I went for a nice and easy bike ride at my mom's. When I went to bed, my knee had a very dull pain, so I took some ibuprofen and went to sleep.
Fast forward to Thursday morning.
I went for a run on Thursday morning with Amanda and Lesa. We walked out about a 1/2 mile then started to run. Sharp, shooting pain from the knee up. OW! OW! OW! I didn't even get half a block before I started limping/running. I called out to Amanda and Lesa, they waited. I told them I couldn't go further. (Side note: If I did go on, I would have had to run down a hill, then back up. That would have hurt me more.) I wanted to cry so bad, but held it in. I was so frustrated that my body is sabotaging my efforts to run and to do that well. I was so mad I almost said some very extreme choice words, but I held my tongue in front of these two friends of mine. They didn't need to hear it, and I'm pretty sure they understand how I'm feeling about now.
I told them to keep going and I was going to walk back to Amanda's place. I was very watchful and careful and nothing happened. By the time I got back to Amanda's, my knee had a dull pain sort of in-the center-of-it-but-more-on-the-outside-of-my-knee. I got my keys and phone from the house and started to drive to my mom's to ride the bike. I called Stephen on the way and he said to just come home. "Your body is telling you to take a break and get better." CRAP!!!!! For real?!?!?!?!
My mind was so not having this. I wanted to run. It felt good to run. I miss it! So, I go home, crawl back into bed by Stephen, he holds me and I cry. I can't understand why this is happening. He tells me it's because my body is trying to strengthen itself and sometimes it has to be torn down to build back up the muscle and strength. Double Crap! We talked about the location of the pain and he has decided that it's my IT Band that is hurting and that it hurts because I have favored my foot for too long. "We" decided that I needed to take off a month from running. I should just do some walking after a week of rest, and do a lot more upper body and abs stuff. I can do that, right? I hope so, because running or riding the bike is the only true way I have felt I get any exercise.
Good thing I had a doctor's appointment that day.
I went in and visited with the doc. He agreed that I needed a month to completely heal my leg. He still tells me I haven't lost enough weight to truly run like I want to but by the beginning of April I should have lost enough and my leg should be healed up by then that I can start really training for my runs I have in May and June. Lets.hope.so. He said that if I kept going and re-injuring myself, I'd keep getting discouraged. (Side note- I have lost about 10 lbs. since I started taking the phentermine. That's not bad. I don't think I could have done it without the pill.)
So, for now, I am able to go on brief walks. Once my tendons start to heat up and hurt I have to slow down and take it easy. I haven't like to relax more than usual. I don't really like to just not use my legs for exercise. It's so not right. Gurrrrrr! How many ways can you say or describe "Frustration." I'd like to see what you comment with. Tell me how many there are. Maybe I'll make a whole post of the different ways to describe frustration.
Well that is why I'm grounded. Maybe someone can post a good exercise that won't hurt and I feel like I've exercised.

My stupid lame foot.

So it's been awhile. I haven't forgotten about my blog, just too lazy to post anything until now. At the beginning of January, I hurt my foot somehow while I was running (for the first time in a month.) I hurt it on a Tues., did nothing Wed., did a boot camp on Thurs. (due to red air day), did nothing on Fri., and tried to do a 4 mile run with Amanda. We got about 1/2 mile out and I was ready to limp back. By the way, I limped 1/2 of that 1/2 mile. I went to the doctor later that day. I was in luck, the doctor that saw me is a huge runner; big into marathons, especially in Alaska. I told him I was training with my friends to run a 1/2 marathon and I needed to be getting back on my feet for training. The x-rays came back clean-no breaks, bone spurs or calcium deposits or anything that he could see that would be causing me pain. He determined that a tendon in my foot became inflamed. Or in another word Tendonitis. (For real!? I have been running pretty consistently since March of last year. I'm too young for this to happen. Stephen told me I probably stepped wrong when I was running and didn't realize it until it was too late. YUCK!) We were discussing this and I asked him "so, as I lose more weight, my foot will be able to do better right?" That was all he needed. He said my weight is probably one of the bigger reasons as to why my foot hurt. In another few words, I was to fat to try something like this and unless I lose the weight, I'll keep hurting myself. He put me on a pill-as small a dose he could give me that would help me (something to help increase my metabolism a tiny bit and to help curb my appetite,) told me to ride a bike and do low-impact exercises. He said if I could walk 3 miles without hurting my foot, then I could start running again.

I have been riding a bike with my friends as they run and I have been going to use my parents stationary bike the other days of the week. I am losing the weight a little bit at a time, but I'm finally seeing results of my hard work. Because I have been riding a bike, Stephen wants to go for rides. Problem is, he doesn't get home until it's dark and I don't want to go that late in the day. I'm a morning person and I like to workout in the morning, not at night. We did go for a ride a couple of Saturdays ago. We left our house and rode the parkway trail to I-15. A 8.5 mile round trip. The ride was great, I kept up with Stephen the whole way until we were almost home. That is when I noticed the flat tire I was trying to use to get me places. It sucked. Stephen is my hero. He traded me bikes. I didn't realize how nice the ride home was until we traded. We got home freezing because it got dark, after a beautiful sunny day I was used to the warmth. Ah, such is life. We haven't had a chance to go out again, but I continued riding with my friends and riding the other bike.

Last week I finally ran for 3 miles. Of course I had to walk a bit of it, but that was totally okay with me. I haven't run for over a month, I needed this. The next day, my foot hurt. Thankfully not as bad as it did before. I ran again, and my foot hurt more the next day. All I can say is Ibuprofin is good stuff. I took Saturday off. I rode the stationary bike on the off run days. I feel good, I feel like no matter what I do, I have to exercise somehow. My doc said to do it 6 days a week, but so far I can only get 4 days in, 5 if I'm lucky. I just know that I have been praying for a very long time for a way to help me lose weight. I have absolutely no self control, but now I'm learning to recognize when I'm hungry and when I'm not. The little pill that he gave me is, in short, an answer to my prayer. Some may disagree, such as my husband and a couple of friends, but I needed something more than just me. I'm grateful for those friends who either agree with it or disagree, you all have helped me to know you care. I am also thankful for your support either way. I love my friends and family and I'm to thankful your in my life. I know I'm not going to be on this pill forever. I should be able to hit my goal before the end of the year. It will take lots of work and I'm willing to put in the hours. I feel guilty for taking the pill, like I'm cheating or something, but I also know that I needed something to help me. Sorry for the novel, but this is my turmoil from the last couple of months. More to come later.